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THE LONELY HEARTS OF BLEND STUDIOS
Valentines at the Blend Studio
It’s that time of year again, and after a string of unsuccessful Tinder dates the Blend team have got their groove on and are feeling Valentine Vibes. We’re taking a trip on the time machine in hopes of finding a sweetheart. The Blend Babes are now accepting applications!
Name: Dan “Jeepers Creepers” Terrett
Interests: Birdwatching, Trainspotting and medieval role play
Achievements: Guinness World Record for “Largest number of restraining orders amassed in one year”.
Seeking: Preferably human.
Name: Maider “Foxy Mammasita“ Oribe
Interests: Salsa, lava lamps and feminist philosophy.
Achievements: Runner up at Yorkshires Flamenco Championship in ‘72.
Seeking: A man who can fiesta a siesta.
Name: Sara “Sunny“ Zafar
Interests: Taxidermy, Marital law and Valium
Achievements: Only paying for weekly food shopping using coupons.
Seeking: A way out of her loveless marriage.
Name: Oscar “Spunky” Abdulla
Interests: Parker Pens, the study of stamps and the smell of cardboard.
Achievements: Crowned “Slough Chess Champion of 1978.”
Seeking: A woman to tame his “wild side”.
Name: Barrie “Top Dog” Gordon
Interests: Databases, clean mirrors and flat pack furniture
Achievements: Awarded 3rd Prize at Hertfordshire County Summer Fare for “Best Tie.”
Seeking: Young ambidextrous badminton partner to help improve his shuttlecock skills.
Name: Bill “Big Daddy” Hummerstone
Interests: Handcuffs, Audi Quattros and Pornstar martinis
Achievements: Can pick a standard padlock without using his hands.
Seeking: Partner in crime.
Name: Maider “Foxy Mammasita“ Oribe
Name: Elayne “Moneypenny” Franks
Interests: Abba, collecting Tupperware and sewing mittens for her dog, Mittens.
Achievements: Won “Highschool Sweetheart” Summer of ’76.
Seeking: Somebody to share a fondue dinner with.
