It’s that time of year again, and after a string of unsuccessful Tinder dates the Blend team have got their groove on and are feeling Valentine Vibes. We’re taking a trip on the time machine in hopes of finding a sweetheart. The Blend Babes are now accepting applications!
Name: Dan “Jeepers Creepers” Terrett Interests: Birdwatching, Trainspotting and medieval role play Achievements: Guinness World Record for “Largest number of restraining orders amassed in one year”. Seeking: Preferably human.
Name: Maider “Foxy Mammasita“ Oribe Interests: Salsa, lava lamps and feminist philosophy. Achievements: Runner up at Yorkshires Flamenco Championship in ‘72. Seeking: A man who can fiesta a siesta.
Name: Sara “Sunny“ Zafar Interests: Taxidermy, Marital law and Valium Achievements: Only paying for weekly food shopping using coupons. Seeking: A way out of her loveless marriage.
Name: Oscar “Spunky” Abdulla Interests: Parker Pens, the study of stamps and the smell of cardboard. Achievements: Crowned “Slough Chess Champion of 1978.” Seeking: A woman to tame his “wild side”.
Name: Barrie “Top Dog” Gordon Interests: Databases, clean mirrors and flat pack furniture Achievements: Awarded 3rd Prize at Hertfordshire County Summer Fare for “Best Tie.” Seeking: Young ambidextrous badminton partner to help improve his shuttlecock skills.
Name: Bill “Big Daddy” Hummerstone Interests: Handcuffs, Audi Quattros and Pornstar martinis Achievements: Can pick a standard padlock without using his hands. Seeking: Partner in crime.
Name: Maider “Foxy Mammasita“ Oribe Name: Elayne “Moneypenny” Franks Interests: Abba, collecting Tupperware and sewing mittens for her dog, Mittens. Achievements: Won “Highschool Sweetheart” Summer of ’76. Seeking: Somebody to share a fondue dinner with.