It’s that time of year again, and after a string of unsuccessful Tinder dates the Blend team have got their groove on and are feeling Valentine Vibes. We’re taking a trip on the time machine in hopes of finding a sweetheart. The Blend Babes are now accepting applications!
Name: Dan “Jeepers Creepers” TerrettInterests: Birdwatching, Trainspotting and medieval role playAchievements: Guinness World Record for “Largest number of restraining orders amassed in one year”.Seeking: Preferably human.
Name: Maider “Foxy Mammasita“ OribeInterests: Salsa, lava lamps and feminist philosophy.Achievements: Runner up at Yorkshires Flamenco Championship in ‘72.Seeking: A man who can fiesta a siesta.
Name: Sara “Sunny“ ZafarInterests: Taxidermy, Marital law and ValiumAchievements: Only paying for weekly food shopping using coupons.Seeking: A way out of her loveless marriage.
Name: Oscar “Spunky” AbdullaInterests: Parker Pens, the study of stamps and the smell of cardboard.Achievements: Crowned “Slough Chess Champion of 1978.”Seeking: A woman to tame his “wild side”.
Name: Barrie “Top Dog” GordonInterests: Databases, clean mirrors and flat pack furnitureAchievements: Awarded 3rd Prize at Hertfordshire County Summer Fare for “Best Tie.”Seeking: Young ambidextrous badminton partner to help improve his shuttlecock skills.
Name: Bill “Big Daddy” HummerstoneInterests: Handcuffs, Audi Quattros and Pornstar martinisAchievements: Can pick a standard padlock without using his hands.Seeking: Partner in crime.
Name: Maider “Foxy Mammasita“ OribeName: Elayne “Moneypenny” FranksInterests: Abba, collecting Tupperware and sewing mittens for her dog, Mittens.Achievements: Won “Highschool Sweetheart” Summer of ’76.Seeking: Somebody to share a fondue dinner with.